Skip to main content


A new study has discovered a powerful force that is now driving evolution on Earth.

If a nuclear war occurs, do not use conditioner on your hair.

For obvious reasons, nuclear war is still on everyone's mind, and interest in learning how to survive a thermonuclear exchange is at an all-time high. We've already covered ways to improve your odds of surviving in a broader sense, but as NPR points out, we've overlooked something crucial.

Do not apply conditioner on your hair in the event of a nuclear war.

Yes, we understand – you'll be too preoccupied with all the loss and sadness and screaming friends and family to notice that your hair has become quite greasy today. We're talking to the well-prepared citizens of society here: the ones who have already built their nuclear bunker and are stocked it with provisions.

Some of the more astute coiffeur thinkers may bring conditioner as well as shampoo to their bunker. A well-groomed tuft of hair says "well equipped for the post-apocalyptic world." So, why would using it in a radioactive wasteland be a terrible idea?

When nuclear devices are detonated, they all have lethal consequences.

You should obviously avoid using conditioner in addition to staying as far away from the explosion as possible. This is said to "bind radioactive particles to your hair and prevent it from rinsing out."

This is the polar opposite of what is excellent. When shampoo commercials state their product will give your hair a "healthy glow," they don't mean radioactive hair.

Instead, you should rinse off as many radioactive particles as possible with a lot of soap and water. Surprisingly, if you're caught outside when the explosives go off, you should go naked.

Remove your garments to prevent the spread of radioactive substances. Up to 90% of radioactive material can be removed by removing the outer layer of clothing.

Blimey. No clothes and unkempt hair? People, make love, not war.