Skip to main content

Featured

A new study has discovered a powerful force that is now driving evolution on Earth.

According to science, this is the world's funniest joke.

Every aspect of human life is being probed by science.

While others scoff at the idea of us all becoming robots in the near future, the Googlies and their ilk press on with their serious objective of coding humanity.

Regrettably, a collision is unavoidable. Thankfully, science has undertaken the task of determining which joke is indeed the most amusing in the world.

Scientists came to some extremely interesting and scientific conclusions. A duck is said to be the funniest animal. The British are said to like dry humour, whilst the Americans are said to enjoy aggressive humour. Oh, that's really amusing.

The hunt for the world's greatest joke, however, was undoubtedly the most significant aspect of this undertaking. Scientists polled one million people for their opinions.

I'm quite aware of the perils of polling a million people about anything. We've all witnessed the tough outcomes that come with every democracy or popularity contest.

However, I present the winner here:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He's not breathing and his eyes are glazed, so his friend calls 911. "My friend is dead! What should I do?" The operator replies, "Calm down, sir. I can help. First make sure that he's dead." There's a silence, then a loud bang. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"

Now, you must pause and think for a second!

As a result, a combination of coffee and spittle has now covered your keyboard or screen. Alternatively, you may be pondering the purpose of life and the value of your fellow man.

I'll only make one minor remark on humour. The importance of context cannot be overstated. Various types of humour appear to operate during certain times of the day, or at certain periods of the evening.

Other times, the exact same joke, even presented to the exact same individuals, drops like a fallen owl.

Often, there is no way to control these situations. I once attended a dinner with 20 professional female golfers. They started cracking jokes. Each one was a little dirtier than the last.

I had no notion what to do when it was my turn. My alcoholic beverage, I suppose, had foresight. So I told a joke that, I admit, went a little too far.

There was a pause when I got to the punchline. Fear for several nanoseconds. Then there was laughter.

I was fortunate. They were inebriated.

Comments